Sunday morning and we're saddened and shocked at reports that yet another popstar has been unable to keep it in his Calvins - and what's worse, it's ANOTHER member of Take That!
Yes, dearest readers, if the latest kiss and tell is to be believed, Howard Donald 'romped' with a Dutch lover (why does everything sound ruder when you put the word 'Dutch' in front of it?) while still with the mum of his five year old daughter.
Merith Van Onselen has flogged her side of the tale to a tawdry downmarket rag, so we're not sure whether we believe it or not.
After all, it's Howard! He of the lovely smile! The one we fancied 'cos we could see past the rubbish dreadlocks while everyone else slavered over Robbie!
Anyroadup, this Merith bird reckons he 'wooed her while high on wacky baccy' (note to lawyer - this was in Berlin and it's legal there) and 'cheated on' then partner Marie Christine Musswesseles, mum of his little girl Lola, five.
Has to be said, the news has pretty much ruined our Mothers' Day for us. We feel treacherous having sent our ma a bunch of tulips. FROM HOLLAND!
But it's pretty clear this Merith person (what sort of a name is that anyway?) has flogged her tale as she's bitter now Howard has dumped her and she really doesn't come out of this smelling of roses at all. Never mind tulips. And Howard isn't even with Marie anymore either.
But it still leaves us wondering - what TT bombshells are going to be dropped on us next? That Gary secretly tortures kittens? That Jason Orange's favourite colour is actually pink?
We don't think we can take much more so we're going back for a lie down. Wake us up when this trashing of The That's reputation is over...
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